My Husband is Sleeping with my Cousin, How do I handle the Situation

I am heartbroken I stayed with my young sister until she finished her O-Levels. I am married and blessed with three kids. I had a problem with fibroids and had eight operations.


The problem continued until the doctor recommended a hysterectomy, which I and my husband both agreed to. After this I thought all was well. Behind my back, my husband and my own parents made an arrangement to give my sister to my husband since he had said that he wanted more children. Nobody told me about this and that is what I consider to be the most painful part about it.

My husband had to bring a prophet to our homestead to tell me kuti ndave duri rakatsemuka and cannot be used. Ndakatadzei?

Illness is not by choice. My parents, my in-laws and my husband are all working against me and even my sister, the one I sacrificed so much for. They organised separate lodgings for my sister and she is expecting my husband’s child, can you imagine? I saw her and did not know how to react. I hear my sister goes to my in-laws’ rural home and still no one has ever said anything to me. I am so angry, I feel let down and cheated, what do I do? What have I done to deserve this?
My Husband is Sleeping with my Cousin, How do I handle the Situation
MAI CHISAMBA RESPONDS
Thank you so much for reading my column. Yes you are right this is betrayal at its worst. I feel for you and I can imagine what you are going through. You have so many unanswered questions concerning both families your hubby’s and your own. For the record let me say once more that marriages are not child making institutions.

People marry because of true love, children are extra gifts that can only be given by God. We should never look down upon a childless couple because they have so many other gifts. In your case God gave you three beautiful kids is that not a house full? Imombe here dzinofanira kuzadza danga.

After such blessings your husband hatched a plan that was accepted by the two families that he wants more children, vei navo? It’s a lame excuse all he wanted was to take advantage of your young sister. After seeing you go through so many operations he should have been the last one to do that. Your spouse should be your comforter not back stabber.

Parents should stand as the role models of their families kwete kuita hudyire hwekupa vabvana vaviri kumurume mumwe chete, what nonsense! What a shame. Your parents have destroyed the love and trust between you and your sister. I don’t understand why your husband did this behind your back because in our culture even for barika the husband consults the first wife.
Why did he call a vulgar prophet to tell you about his infidelity? How dare he compare you neduri ratsemuka, that’s not fair.

My advice is before you take the next step, engage a professional counsellor who will help you discuss these matters with your husband. I know it’s hard to trust anyone now after being let down by people closest to you but this is life you have to move on.

I do not want you to make a decision now because you are angry and confused. Let me hear from you after counselling. Be of good cheer, you have been through so much but you are still up and about. You were blessed with lovely kids, enjoy them. Remember there is power in prayer. I wish you all the best.

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