I found love after marriage, only to lose it

I fell in love too and it happened, when I had least expected it. However, there was only one problem with this love. I was married and he was in a long-distance relationship. He was alone in the city and I was alone within my family.

I fell in love too and it happened, when I had least expected it. However, there was only one problem with this love. I was married and he was in a long-distance relationship. He was alone in the city and I was alone within my family.


We had our share of arguments and at times, we even tried to pull away, but succumbed to the passion and attraction we had for each other. The more we controlled our feelings, the more we got pulled towards each other. A year passed and our relationship was evolving. Some days our bond was strong, some days heartrending and some days stagnant. I captured each moment with him in my mind, as if I knew this will not last and all I would have for lifetime would be these memories. I was not sure if I was in love with him or the idea of just being in love. Sometimes, I questioned my own identity, my own integrity and if it was really me. No one could feel or understand the way I felt. In the end, all that mattered was that I was happy, now I often had a smile to accompany me.
Valentines Day Love Wallpaper
I found love after marriage, only to lose it
This new, passionate and compelling love had no witness. It was a secret and would always remain a secret. Only my two best friends understood the beauty of this relationship. I failed to make him understand that it wasn't being right or wrong; it was about how we felt about each other. It was to accept the fact that there was something special which was beyond our control. I wanted to experience this love and share it with the world. Tell them how happy I was just having him around me. But fear shadowed our relationship. The world had the power to judge, humiliate and punish. I was the dare devil in this relationship and had the courage to accept the fact, but he was not. His career had just begun and he wanted to follow the societal norms and be the ideal man in the eyes of the world. I realized that his love wasn't as strong as mine.

It was my first day of my vacation after months of hard work. I was missing him already and then saw his number flashing on my cell phone. My heart skipped a beat. He was not a regular caller and I was hoping him to say that he was missing me too. But rather, he broke the news about his transfer being approved. He would move to his home town and he sounded "happy". I wasn't sad that he was moving, but I was sad that he did not show any remorse of leaving me. Tears flooded my eyes and I was shattered. Like any other man in my life, he too made promises, which I knew he wouldn't keep. But hoped he would turn out to be different.

It has been two months since he has gone. There is just the secluded re-reading of his messages, staring at his pictures, the replaying of songs that remind me of him, and before I close my eyes every night I reminiscence the beautiful and special time I had with him. He has his new life in his own city. He is leading his life the way he always desired; with his family, girlfriend and the way our society wanted him to live. I wonder if I even cross his mind. I wonder if he has any memories of the time we spent.

My pain will heal and the tightness in my heart will loosen and one day the memories will evoke a smile and not a tear. I am thankful to God that I experienced this side of life, which was so profound and real. With all my relationships I have only risen in love. It has only made me a stronger person. He may not love me and I may not be with him anymore, but I still have the power to love him immensely.

(By Aditi)

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